Wouldn’t it feel nice to look back on your journey as a writer without regret? I may have some words of advice that will help you achieve that goal. Not because I’m especially wise or have all the answers, but rather because I’ve made all the mistakes. Okay, maybe not all the mistakes, but I’ve made more than I care to recall.

However… When recalling those mistakes may help another writer, I’m happy to recite my list of blunders.

So, here’s my Do as I Say, Not as I Did list. Maybe it will help you avoid a few of your own blunders.

1. Do dare to leave your comfort zone.

Don’t allow fear or discomfort to keep you from stepping out.

Go to that conference, even if it means attending alone. And once there, push yourself to talk to others. You’ll likely find someone who feels as uncomfortable as you feel. Offer the companionship or friendship you wish you had rather than hiding in the restroom (now you know where I spent my time at my first dozen writers conferences!)

2. Do believe in your abilities.

Don’t allow negativity to whisper its condemning thoughts to your mind and soul. When thoughts like, I can’t do this, I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I don’t have the right degree, or I don’t even have a degree, vie for space in your mind, fight back with the truth of who you are, and the abilities God’s given you.

3. Do make a plan.

Don’t seat-of-the-pants your writing career. You’re welcome to seat-of-the pants your manuscript, but not your career. Make a plan and stick to the plan, allowing yourself to adjust as necessary. As you research agents, editors, and publishers, determine where your passion intersects with the types of projects they’re seeking. Set specific goals and timeframes. If making a plan feels uncomfortable, see #1.

4. Do connect with a community.

Don’t lone wolf your writing journey. Even if you’re shy, ridiculously introverted, aren’t high energy, and aren’t even sure you like people – find your people. Search for them online if you haven’t found them locally. Meet them at conferences. Volunteer for a writing organization. Whatever it takes, surround yourself with other writers. You need them. And they need you.

By the way, you’re going to be hearing a lot more from me about community in the days ahead.

5. Do continue learning everything you can about the writing craft for as long as you’re breathing. 

Don’t think I’m not still learning. When I look back over the last thirty years of my writing journey, the one thing I will never regret is my commitment to learning the writing craft. When I look ahead to my remaining years as a writer, I know I’ll never regret my commitment to continue learning.

For some writers, the above list may seem elementary, even silly. For others, it hits close to home. I’ve worked with writers long enough to know that oftentimes the messages we believe we’re called to write are messages born of deep pain. Even trauma. And that pain or trauma may have left us wounded, and afraid.

If that’s you – if your message is based on something your life story has written, and you’re struggling with the vulnerability required to share to that story, I understand and I am here, in the background, cheering you on.

Here’s one more Do to add to the list, and this is one I did and have never regretted:

7. Do take the time to heal. Writing is hard work, but healing is the often the hardest work. But healing is one very real path to freedom. And once you’ve found that freedom, your words will offer readers true value.

Finally, if you already have regrets, mistakes you’ve made on the way to publication, or post publication, give thanks for those mistakes. It’s often the mistakes we’ve made that offer the most valuable lessons.

Regret offers nothing but despair. You can let regret go.

Maybe you have your own list of dos and don’ts, if so, I’d love it if you’d share them with us in the comments.

Who are you listening to?

The act of writing, for most of us, is a solitary endeavor. We shut ourselves away from distractions, hang a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, and give our minds space to create. We spend hours, days, months, with only our imagination, our keyboard, and maybe a faithful pet for company as we work.

Although writing is done in solitude, the writing life is best lived in community.

We need others.

We were not created to create alone.

We need others to encourage us when the work is hard. Those who understand what we do and why we do it. Others who will pick us up when we fall. Those who will cheer us on.

We need others to guide us, to advise us, to speak wisdom into our lives.

Over the last year, new avenues in my writing career have presented themselves. Decisions that need to be made have nagged. And for much of the year, I circled my own mind. Without input from others, I ran loop after loop after loop without getting anywhere.

Finally, I reached out to another writer I respect and listened and considered as she asked wise questions.

Then I spoke with a literary agent whose experience I respect.

In September, while on vacation, I mentioned an unmade decision to a friend, and her response encouraged me to take one more step.

Then last week, I spent four days with dear friends. They aren’t published writers. They don’t know the publishing world. They don’t fully understand what I do. But they know me. My heart. My desires. They are women who’ve seen me at my best, and know I’ll fail again. Women who’ve seen me at my worst, and love me still.

They are women who seek God and listen for His voice.

Wise women.

Women who, during our time together, offered guidance. Unified. Four women, one voice.

Honestly, I didn’t want to hear what they said. But because of who they are and the united front they presented, I listened. And when I pondered their words, they echoed other messages I’ve heard. Their guidance was familiar, words whispered to my mind and soul for many years. Words spoken by the Lover of my soul.

Friends.

Family.

Community.

We need others.

Who is speaking into your writing life? Who is offering guidance and wisdom?

If your solitary writing time has become a career of solitude, dare to reach out to another writer or two. Perhaps they need you as much as you need them. Not sure who to connect with or how to connect? Join an online writing community and begin getting to know other writers. Volunteer for a writing organization and get to know their team. Attend a writers’ conference or a writers’ retreat and approach other writers. Ask questions about their writing, their lives. Offer the relationship you seek.

Lean into those who already know you well. Family. Friends. Those who love you.

Ask.

Listen.

Ponder.

We need others.

We were not created to create alone.