Don’t you hate it when a sentence slips out of your mouth before you’ve run it through the wisdom filter?

I hate it when that happens. And it happened not long ago.

I’ll set the scene for you: A writers’ conference. A panel of esteemed agents. And a comment from one of the agents that connected with a desire I’d shared with no one. A silly desire, maybe, but a desire I’d held close because exposing it would mean subjecting myself to the possibility of having to face one of my fears: inadequacy in the eyes of another, especially inadequacy as a writer.

A scene set for disaster.

Okay, maybe disaster is a bit dramatic, but whenever we’re looking for approval from anyone other than God, we’re setting ourselves up for distress, disconcertment, dismay… You get the idea.

Anyway, there it was. My desire. Disturbed.

After the session ended, I made my way to the area where I was serving that day, a place not typically populated with conference attendees. A place where I might take a few minutes to process the disturbance.

But when I walked into that area, it was populated, teeming even—when I turned around to walk back out, I came face-to-face with the esteemed panelist who’d disturbed my desire. We’re acquaintances. She smiled, her expression welcoming, so…

I confessed my desire. Which was fine, because she affirmed my desire. We were off to a decent start. We chatted briefly about our mutual enjoyment of a series of books, then we exchanged a few words about the respected agent who represents my work, then there were a few more words about my career.

Then it happened.

That one unfiltered sentence slipped out of my mouth. “Well, you know,” I said, “I was part of that (insert publisher’s name) mess…”

Mindset #2

When it comes to things that keep writers stuck, whether on a project or in their career, one of the BIGGIES is blame.

Blame is venomous, and mostly to our own souls.

Nothing will paralyze us, keep us stuck in our own mess, like blame.

And my comment, though seemingly innocuous at the time, was just that: blame. I blamed a struggling publishing company for a failure in my career that was truly mine to own. I blamed someone else in order to make myself look good. To avoid feeling inadequate.

I hate it when that happens.

Or more appropriately stated, I hate it when I do that.

Later, the comment I’d made nagged.

And nagged.

Until I understood: I was stuck.

And I’d been stuck for a very long time. Not entirely stuck. Not from an outsider’s perspective, perhaps, but stuck, nonetheless.

“Blame doesn’t empower you. It keeps you stuck in a place you don’t want to be because you don’t want to make the temporary, but painful decision, to be responsible for the outcome of your own life’s happiness.”
― Shannon L. Alder

I was a victim waiting for rescue—a writer waiting for God to swoop in and give her the career she thought she deserved (insert eye-roll here).

But God, in his great mercy, refused to rescue me.

Instead, he allowed a disturbance, which led to a discovery, one I thought I’d already made but obviously hadn’t fully embraced: as writers, we are responsible for our actions, for the work we do and the diligence with which we do it.

Notice I said we’re responsible for our actions, not for the outcome of those actions.

We have little control over outcomes. For example, a writer may, following many years of hard work, finally reach the milestone of publication, sign a book contract, then sign another contract. She may sign contracts for six books. She may enjoy awards and accolades for the books she writes. She may work hard, giving all she has to her work.

She may take all the right steps to ensure her desired outcome, only to have the outcome differ drastically from the dream she chased.

A publishing company may, under economic strain, close the division that was publishing her books. Revoke her contract. Leave her disheartened. But not just her, many other authors too.

Some authors stepped back for a time.

Others moved on to great success.

And one writer appeared to move forward, but really, she got stuck. Mired in unmet expectations.

The writer who allowed Blame to nest, viper-like, in a dark and secret space, eventually found herself paralyzed by its venom.

Have you ever let blame nest in your soul?

Maybe a critique partner didn’t appreciate the genius of your work. Or perhaps an agent, enthused about your project agreed to represent you, but then failed to sell your manuscript. Maybe it was easier to point the finger at the offender, than risk taking a look inward.

The good news is that God, in his great mercy, doesn’t leave us stuck. He doesn’t leave us mired in our mess. Instead, he disturbs us.

Once disturbed, if we’re willing, we discover the truth.

And once we accept the truth…

We can get back to work, unencumbered. Words once again flow freely. Projects reach completion.

I love it when that happens.

Don’t you?

If you’re feeling stuck as a writer, especially if the outcomes you’ve hoped for haven’t yet materialized, I pray you’ll let God disturb you. I pray you’ll dare to examine your own heart—dare to uproot any blame or excuse that may have immobilized you. And then, I pray you’ll get back to work.

Mindset #1 – Negative Thinking

As writers, most of us find ourselves stuck from time to time. Honestly, some of us feel stuck more often than not. After nearly 30 years spent pursuing a writing career and a dozen years working with writers, I’ve identified mindsets that keep writers from moving forward with projects or advancing in their career. Negativity tops the list of debilitating mindsets.

training the brain to become more flexible and see options and new ideas.

When we are dealing with negative thoughts, thoughts that keep us from moving forward, whether on a writing project or in another area, Dr. Amen suggests first noticing the thoughts and then interrupting the thoughts to refocus on positive thoughts that will help us move forward.

Much of the fiction I write is woven around the theme of truth. When we notice negative thoughts, or the condemning voice, we can interrupt the narrative by asking ourselves this question: What’s true?

Thought: What’s wrong with me?

Truth: I need a brief break because I’m tired, hungry, thirsty, achy from sitting too long, or. . .

There’s a good chance nothing is truly wrong that can’t be remedied by identifying a need and then taking measures to care for yourself. If you identify a medical issue—anxiety, depression, or another ailment—contact your physician.

Thought: I can’t.

Truth: I can, but it may require making changes.

Sometimes you really can’t do something. Life keeps you from achieving a goal you’ve set, including your word count goal. Factors beyond your control impede progress—family emergencies, illnesses, or other complications. When that happens, you may need to adjust your expections, modify your goal, or prayerfully consider the importance and timing of that goal.

The real truth: Someone greater than you is leading, guiding, and providing. God is waiting for you to turn to him for discernment.

Occasionally, the narrative you need to change may be complicated, deeply woven into your being, entrenched in your mind and beliefs. Sometimes interrupting and changing the narrative will require support from a counselor, a few appointments with a life or writing coach, or conversations with trusted family or friends. It may take time. But even small, consistent steps will help you progress and lead you to the finish line.

Actions: 

• Before taking a break from a writing project, set a time to return to the project, whether in 15 minutes or the next day.
• Pay attention to your thoughts, interrupt the negative narrative, and identify the truth.
• If you need to care for yourself in some way or change the way you’re doing something, do so.
• Return to your why—remind yourself why you embarked on this adventure in the first place.

Then, as soon as you’re able, get back to the keyboard.

Recommended Resources:

Change Your Brain, Change Your Life, by Daniel G. Amen, M.D.

Get Out of Your Head, by Jennie Allen